# 332 Marrying An Unbeliever

The Book of Genesis

Day 332

Ge 36:1 Now this is the genealogy of Esau, who is Edom.  2 Esau took his wives from the daughters of Canaan: Adah the daughter of Elon the Hittite; Aholibamah the daughter of Anah, the daughter of Zibeon the Hivite;  3 and Basemath, Ishmael's daughter, sister of Nebajoth.

 This entire chapter deals with the genealogy of Esau and I have taken the liberty to select some of the verses that have little side notes that go beyond who begat who.

First of all in v1-3 take note of Esau’s “pool of wives.” They all came from the daughters of Canaan, they all came from unbelievers. That’s a no-no according to God’s Word. De 7:3,4 says,  "Nor shall you make marriages with them. You shall not give your daughter to their son, nor take their daughter for your son.  4 "For they will turn your sons away from following Me, to serve other gods; so the anger of the LORD will be aroused against you and destroy you suddenly.

 Though the New Testament has no specific instruction that forbids marrying an unbeliever, the principle involved in Dt 7:3,4 remains. It’s a warning that should not be ignored. It is  an unequal yoking that is likely to cause problems down the road. 2Co 6:14 says, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?”

In marriage the two become one, and one of the purposes of marriage is to model Christ’s relationship to His church. How is that possible for husband and wife if one of them has rejected Christ?

How many spouses pay a price for ignoring this principle. How many have had to agonize over the lost condition of the person they love. Thankfully there is a recourse of action for the believing spouse and it’s found in 1Pe 3:1, “ Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,”

I am especially fond of this verse because it is my salvation story. My wife, married a hypocrite, (me) and when that truth hit home, she clung to this passage, and God honored her faith in His Word and brought me to faith in Jesus! Was it easy for her? No! It was extremely difficult, but she hung in there and I am forever grateful!

Something else to consider in this matter. When marrying an unbeliever, the door is flung open for the possibility of divorce. Listen to the words of the Apostle Paul found in 1Co 7:10-16, “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.  11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.  12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her.  13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.  14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.  15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.  16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

Pay attention to verse 15! Who is it that departs in a marriage? The unbeliever. The unbeliever has no qualms about separating what God has joined together because the Word of God doesn’t matter to them, but the permanence of marriage matters to the believer, because God’s Word matters to them! 

Mutual faith in Christ allows for the spouses to work through their difficulties for the glory of God!

No matter how you cut it, marrying an unbeliever invites unwarranted pain into any marriage. These things need to be pondered before we say I do!